All Articles Listed Are The Intellectual Property of Joseph T.Riach. © Copyright Joseph T.Riach 1998-2014.
All proprietory rights and interest in this website/these publications shall be vested in Joseph T.Riach and all other rights including, but without limitation, patent, registered design, copyright, trademark and service mark, connected with this website/publication and all content printed within shall also be vested in Joseph T.Riach.


Contents :


AIM : To provide to the UK market a range of 'Leisure and Learn' luxury short breaks in the S.W. of France and elsewhere. Starting with the Wake Up 'Be My Guest' success, achievement and wealth creation experience (already created).
Expansion of the company will occur through (a)Organic Growth - more events, different themes, more locations. (b) Expansion into the corporate market and through acquisitions.

VENTURE CAPITAL is now sought to fund the development and growth of the company, particularly to implement a high quality marketing and sales programme using the latest internet technology and to sustain the company's operational capability until earnings and profitability are attained.

EQUITY AND FUNDING : It is proposed that 40% of the shares be offered for ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS Sterling of equity capital. The P&L Account for the first full year indicates a NET PROFIT of TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY POUNDS Sterling. IF funding is secured NOW, then courses additional to the 'Be My Guest' experience can be prepared and ready for advertising by the year end thus affording the opportunity to maximise next year's season.

PROJECT JUSTIFICATION : Activity holidays, themed short breaks and learning courses and seminars all exist, thus there is a market to be tapped but the concept of a Growth Corporate entity organising Intimate Leisure And Learn Short Breaks, for a Select Group and Hosted by a Specialist Mentor at a Luxury Overseas location is NEW! Thus there is also a new market to be created. This niche must be developed through the use of extensive high profile advertising to create Unique Brand awareness and to sell the concept. The use of modern Internet and computer technology is critical to the project as is a follow-on affiliate and client introduction programme. Exploiting our corporate strength in a largely fragmented sector to rapidly develope more events at more locations will further consolidate our position. At times it should also be possible to acquire failing private enterprises. It is believed that a growing number of people, with shorter working weeks and more leisure time to fill, will support this venture because they realise that they have to find new ways to profitably use this free time in the future. Redundancy and early retirement pay-outs accruing from the slowing economy will in part be spent on holidaying and in part on re-education. Learning earning skills while relaxing at a luxury foreign location will enhance people's perception of the value of the experience and of the cost.

(1)Wake Up's events are to be hosted at luxury locations overseas eg Chateaux in S.W.France.
(2)The ambiance is to be luxurious, personal and relaxed, not a seminar but a 'Host' and 'Guest' experience catering for a maximum of ten guests. The events will not be inexpensive.
(3)We will be a growth corporate entity, rationalising on sales and administration and maximising on know-how and repetition.

PROJECT OVERVIEW : The Western World generally continues to see dramatic decreases in the availability of 'real' jobs (ie in manufacturing and production) allied to an ongoing increase in the amount of leisure time available to people. This increase in leisure time and the need to be able to fund it has led more and more people to use this spare time to learn new skills and ways of making money. Many are prepared to use redundancy pay-offs and early pension retirement benefits to fund their learning. It is natural therefor, both for individuals with time and learning needs and for a company willing to supply these needs, to bundle the learning and the leisure into one enjoyable package.
To this end Wake Up LLC has initiated a new service. The aim is to provide a range of 'Leisure and Learn' Short Breaks, hosted by specialist mentors/tutors at international luxury locations. The first such experience, appropriately a success, achievement and wealth creation event entitled 'Be My Guest', (see is now available to eight guests per three day course who, along with their Wake Up Host (the author of this plan) will exclusively occupy Chateau Meyre, near Bordeaux, with full use of the Chateau's many fine facilities. It is intended that forty such events be hosted each year at a cost of 497 pounds sterling per person (in addition to which guests meet their own transport and accomodation costs). The near to medium term objective is to organise events with many different themes, also luxury 'Be My Guest' residential stays, so that the company would be organising/hosting many different events at various locations every week of the year.

(1) Reformation of company with Twenty-Five Thousand Pounds Sterling shares.
(2) Joseph T.Riach appointed Chief Executive.
(3) Appointment of an independent non-executive Financial Director.
(4) Appointment of other non-executive Directors.
(5) Office premises with Secretary/PA to CE.
(6) Design all administrative systems.
(7) Outsource to specialist marketing company.
(8) Oversee with marketing company all relevant PR.
(9) Investigate other possible types of events to host.
(10)All general opportunities for business development.
The reformed, refunded company should be fully operational at the earliest possible time but no later than 30th November 2001. The operational organisation will be fully automated and will run initially with a minimum staff of Chief Executive and Secretary/PA. A specialist team to be built as growth and funding allows.



40 Courses @ £497 each x 8 = £159,040
Investment Income = £6,500

TOTAL INCOME = £165,540


Chateau & Course Expenses = £19,880
Monthly Expenses x 12 = £120,000


NET PROFIT = £25,660
Assuming total amount of Share Capital from Day One, and given that all guests pay in advance, the company will maintain a positive cash flow and generate a modest investment income.
(A Net Profit of +100% from the promotion of Ten events {40 x each pa} is achievable in two to three years).

: No major capital expenditure is envisaged, the biggest expense is Marketing and Marketing related. Locations for events are activated on an as-needed basis and, other than day time meals, refreshments and incidentals incur no cost to the company. An office facility (possibly in the UK at Stanstead Airport) will be leased.
Professional & Legal Start Up Fees = £2,500
Stationary, Printing, Design = £1,500
Web Page Design = £2,500
Initial Marketing = £7,500
Miscellaneous Fees, Costs = £1,000

TOTAL = £15,000
All office equipment such as PCs, telephone, fax, mobile phones will be leased.

Office Rental & Services = £1,000
Secretary/PA = £1,800
Office Equipment Lease = £400
Post/Tel./Fax/Web Hosting etc. = £300
Miscellany = £1,000

Sub-Total = £4,500

Marketing, Sales & Advertising = £1,000
Chief Exec. Drawings = £3,000
Travel, Accomodation, Subsistence, Miscel. = £1,500

Sub-Total = £5,500

TOTAL = £10,000

Twelve Months Start Up = £135,000

Paid Up Share Capital = £25,000

Contingency = £15,000

TOTAL = £175,000
NOTE : Marketing and Marketing related expenditure accounts for £11,500 of the Start Up Capital and £5,500 of the Monthly Expenditure.


PROPOSED SERVICE - Leisure and Learn Short Breaks.

STYLE - Top end of market events which are neither seminars nor holidays but informal small groups attending as 'Guests' at ...

LOCATION - Luxury overseas locations to learn about their chosen subject in a tranquil setting while enjoying the company and mentoring of their specialist 'Host'.

S.W.FRANCE - Is reached quickly and cheaply from London yet offers a truly foreign culture ambiance.

TECHNOLOGY - The application of up-to-the-minute Internet and computer technology is of paramount importance in order to facilitate a speedy and effective logistical exercise and particularly with regard to ...

MARKETING AND SALES - Is the key to the success of the project. Mainstream promotion will be targeted to appropriate market sectors led by a web presence guiding prospects professionally through the sales process, which will include ...

NETWORKING - As the client base grows an internet conducted affiliate and client introduction programme including the use of company-hosted video conferences will be implemented.

GROWTH POTENTIAL - Is substantial and comes quite simply from ongoing duplication of the format viz. by offering more events, more themes, more regularly to a wider market (eg corporate) at more locations.

WHAT WAKE UP LACKS - Marketing and PR expertise. Technology and its application. The capital to implement the two afore-mentioneds.

SEE ALSO - for more information on the Wake Up operation. View the Personal History of this plan's author at .

copyright Joseph T.Riach 2001 ©

Satirical, Sporting and Topical Interest Article

Foreword : 'Petrus' is an avid Formula One follower. So not surprisingly he is confused. And with a name like Petrus he obviously enjoys the odd glass or three of wine, consumed at the mythical Woolsack pub which is frequented by a motley crew of equally befuddled fellow Formula One addicts. Petrus attracts scrapes effortlessly, is shamelessly promiscuous and is known to consult an ample-bosomed psychotherapist with a uniquely intimate bedside manner. Read on ....

Looking forward to a pending GP season is akin to relishing the prospect of a bloody nose in a bar room brawl ..... so I headed to the Woolsack! Shortly after I arrived there, Lewis Hamilton came in. He had with him an alligator on a lead! "Do you serve Tifosi here?" he asked Dan, who was just coming to behind the bar (having passed out there the previous night). "Yes", she said, "Is that a problem?" "Not at all", replied Lewis, "A pint of Old Stoats Breathe for me and two Tifosi for the alligator!"

Now .... I happened to hear this as I was by now nursing my glass of '66 in a nearby corner whilst glued to the Sporting Post's 'Girls With Whips' special supplement. (I was glued to it as Sid had been playing silly buggers with the super-glue again). Concealed so however, Mr. and Mrs.Paddock Bend, as fervent Ferrari followers as ever trod the Maranello tarmac, did not observe me when they entered and sat alongside. I could not help but overhear them. Looking mischievously into Mrs.PB's eyes her husband whispered, "Do you remember that it was thirty years ago today that we first made love against the fence out back here? What say that we do it again now, bring in the new F1 season with a bang?" "You old devil," replied Mrs.PB, fluttering her eyelashes coyly and dragging him half kicking to the back door. "This," I thought, "I must see!" so I hurried to the window and, picking shreds of Sporting Post from my eyes, peered out.

Mamma Mia! It was explosive! As soon as the PBs got to the fence they started frantically tearing at each other like rabid ferrets! And the frenzied screaming, gyrating, clutching and clawing continued for a full thirty steaming minutes before they collapsed to the ground. It was a further twenty minutes before they stirred, struggled to their feet and, grasping the tattered remnants of their clothes around them, staggered back into the pub - where they promptly fell in to the Shergar-hair settee in front of the log fire. (This settee, by the way, is one and the same as gifted to the Woolsack a few years earlier by an itinerant Irish family who sold to the pub at the same time 500 pounds of quite superb steak from a 'never-to-be-repeated secret source'. I know that the steaks were excellent as I ate two for lunch that same day and afterwards ran the six furlongs to Elsie Clitorit's cottage in 60 seconds flat)! ..... but I digress .... .
I could not resist but approach Mrs.PB and confess that I had witnessed the remarkable 'performance' of she and her husband. "Why is your face covered in newsprint?" she puzzled. "Just head lines," I quipped, then pressed on, "Out there in the yard, that was fantastic, unbelievable," I enthused, "Please, please you must tell me the secret of your incredible libido?" Mrs.PB, still barely able to speak, stammered painfully, "Thirty years ago the fence wasn't electrified!!!!"

I was about to jest that Mick B, an old school F1 traditionalist, would deride her use of performance-enhancing technology and Achilles simply consider it 'cheating' when Dan came over. "Strange fellow," she commented, nodding towards Lewis Hamilton who was just leaving. "Ah, the pet alligator?" I said. "No, the Old Stoats Breathe," she replied. "He had me fill two jerry-cans of it and says he'll send a van to collect another 200 litres later!??!"

Mention of a van reminded me that the 'yellow' one was waiting outside to take me to my keenly anticipated scheduled consultation with my amorous and ampley endowed shrink in Kettering, so I retrieved my precious '66 from among the Kimi-Is-God communion wine (where Mouse had sought to conceal it ), and left. On my way out I passed the alligator headed towards the two medium-rare Tifosi still smouldering on the settee. I pulled my Team Lacoste jacket around my shoulders and smiled to myself, "We'll not be hearing much more from the PBs this season."

Humourous Nonsense

1.When Marlene went to Aubterre fair, Her Furry Thong went with her there
Soon word spread throughout the town, That in their midst the Famous Down
Had come to work to rest to play, So on street corners folk would say
"We're happy pleased delighted chuffed, To have with us the Mighty Muff".

2.Soon she was summoned by the King, Yes they still had such a thing
Who in his splendid Royal keep, Declared to her he could not sleep
Since hearing that the Famous Thong, Immortalised in tale and song
Was according to his mere, Right here in little old Aubterre.

3.Royal duties affairs of state, Had been postponed had had to wait
Legislation matters pressing, Had not received the Royal blessing
"So would she that he might bless, Display to him Her Pussyness
But if she would not let him see, He'd order it by Royal decree!"

4."What!" she cried "You leachourous King, You think you can command this thing?
Don't you know its power surpasses, All your pomp and fatuous gasses?
Its beauty's not for those who crave, Wanton lust and things depraved
Its glow's reserved for just those from, Goodness shines like my sweet Tom." ('s licence).

5."For those like you or even worse, the sight of it becomes a curse!"
And saying so she grabbed his throat, And thrust his face beneath her coat
After fifteen seconds passed, The Royal voice gave out a gasp
And after fifteen seconds more, He heaved and gave a mighty roar!

6.And breaking free threw off his clothes, Y-fronts vest and panty hose
Then running ape-like not like man, Sped off down the autobhan
Arms a'flailing o'er the hill, For all we know he's going still!

7.Marlene's now Queen can do no wrong
And Aubterre's crest? - The Furry Thong!

Footnote : The above is an extract from my Furry Thong ® Cartoon Book of Verse which contains in total over 130 verses. Some of these are topical and/or political lampoons, some fact-based and some like 'The Queen of Aubterre' are 'mini-epics' but all feature my 'Furry Thong character' in one guise or another. The rhymes lend themselves brilliantly to cartoons but at present only four verses are so illustrated. The character could have substantial commercial mileage because Furry Thong is naughty yet fun and instantly recognisable. 'Furry Thong' is a Registered Trademark. JTR.

All Articles Listed Are The Intellectual Property of Joseph T.Riach. © Copyright Joseph T.Riach 1998-2014.
All proprietory rights and interest in this website/these publications shall be vested in Joseph T.Riach and all other rights including, but without limitation, patent, registered design, copyright, trademark and service mark, connected with this website/publication and all content printed within shall also be vested in Joseph T.Riach.